Reminisence

This entry is all about my secondary school life. It's gonna be all about me. So, it may drive you into boredom. So you can skip if you dun wanna know about it. I'm ok with it :)

After reading Jing's blog, I have a lot of flash-backs.

I was thinking, how could I forget completely what I had contributed to the church before I withdrew myself out of it? Hmm...to put it into a better term, I didn't really forget those memories but I think they just leaped through my mind. But now I will start to collect them back. Piece by piece and put them back in shape.

Well, Jing's blog makes me recall back a lot of things that occured in my life. I am not sure how I feel right now. It's neither sad nor happy. (Too much privacy huh?) I think I'm more to regret and I miss my active involvements in church activities last time. Regret as not confident and brave enough to face the tests that He put me to. And I really miss my good all times when I can tell people how much I love God and how significant God is in my life. I quarreled with my mum just to get involved in church activities for the whole day. Church used to be my second home. But now, I don't even remember how to recite Divine Mercy prayer (I used to love it so much) and I even need to refer to the booklet to recite the Holy Rossary prayer. What a loser~

After reading Jing's blog, I only knew that so many ppl were affected by the camp that I organised. Only these recent years, people told me that it was a good camp. I don't know why I don't even feel proud about it. A person approached me and told me that the camp was more to FUN activities and not to spiritual building and it didn't help at all. I tried to do defend and take it as a positive criticism but I was speechless back then maybe because that person was influential to me. I kinda respect him and so I choose to believe him. After hearing what he told me, I was really heart-broken. Heart-broken and disappointed at my own ability. Since then I promised myself not to organise whatever camp and not to get involved with any church activities cause I think there are lot more churchers who can do it better than me. I rather let myself out of this church area instead of dragging more ppl to hell (that was what I thought at that time).

But thanks to all my committee members of Kanowit Camp. Though I know it's way too late to say right now. I just wanna acknowledge our contributions to the Lord Almighty~ And a BIG thanks to everybody who think that the camp is good and actually help you out. At least you made me feel that I have a proud achievement and not a pathetic failure! Hehe

Since that incident, I gave a lot of excuses to Jonas to escape the Kanowit camp post-mortem, to avoid Prayer Meet and rejected everything that they wanna give me. I know I was a LOSER. But if I have the chance right now, I will give myself another shot before I regret for the rest of my life.

-Photo grabbed from Jing-

I feel so happy when I see this photo. Can locate me? Hehehe I am at the front row in choir-robe on your right. Wa..that time my hair was that long like ghost leh! Hahaha Miss my beautiful, long, straight, black hair~~~

Well, that was the picture of my last participance in choir activities. Miss the time so so much when all of us were under the pressure of Fr. Su to perform the best for Christmas Eve's mass. Maxwell is a great teacher! He was a talented guy though I know not everybody will like him especially guys. But still, he is the best! And I think that was the BEST choir performance too!

Hmm...Really hope I can contribute more again in the future.