Crying out is impossible

I felt like crying but there are no tears rolling down...

My heart hurts so much now as if it is telling me to turn back and wake up from my dream.

I am in such a terrible mood that I felt like there are no hope in everything I do in this world. Here I am once again, isolating myself from the world....

until... the msn messenger rang...

It was the trespasser. It's HIM. I was suddenly brightened up..

His greetings were powerful enough to cheer me up.

I was deciding to give up on him when he suddenly appeared again, melting my heart like the way he always did. Why? WHy? Why???????

Why am I so useless????

I REALLY HATE MYSELF for who I am now...

I hate myself to always convince myself, giving excuses to forgive myself on what I had done.

DARN!!! What should I do?

My friend used to tell me not to worry about the things that will never gonna happen. Yeah, I totally agree. But...I am too weak to fight the feelings inside me...

I feel so weak...feel like dying...